Some years ago I was walking up my road to a busy parade of shops. Walking in front of me were two heavy set guys with short hair, polo tops and gold earrings. Their body language suggested a difference of opinion between them which seemed to be rather heated and close to spilling over into a full on row. As I caught up with them I heard one exclaim to the other 'he f*&king was'. The other guy's riposte was 'he was f*&king wasn't'. Just as I got side by side with them and desperately tried to avoid eye contact lest I too should be dragged into what I assumed was an arguement about football the source of the dispute was revealed with the sentence 'I'm fu*&king tellin' yer mate,..... Monet was a f*&king impressionist'!
On recounting this story to work colleagues the following story was related to me by a good friend. One was a conversation he'd had whilst working in a paint factory during the summer break from his studies at Cambridge University. Ben, as he shall be known, fell into a conversation with an older Irish guy who was the sweeper upper and dogsbody in the paint shop. 'You know what'? said he to Ben, 'that f*&king Maria Callas, when she hits those c*^ting high notes she makes the hairs on the back of my f*&king neck stand up'!
What both these stories show is that books should never be judged by their covers. No one should ever be assumed to be shallow or uncultured just because of an articulation that involves 'the language of the snooker halls'. Where I now live the most selfish and anti-social behaviour comes from the middle class parents of kids who attend the little private prep school on the corner and who park their cars so thoughtlessly as to be dangerous. The other source of self absorbed yobbery in my area is the predominantly middle-class students who rent houses in the street and seem to have no idea about the lives of others, especially those whose kids have to be up for school and who, themselves have to be up for work.
A friend from my father's mis-spent past got back in touch after a gap of 40 years, 20 of which had been spent on and off in various London gaols. At my Mum's 60th birthday party I heard him say to my then 7 year old son ' stay in school and stay out of trouble son, villainy's a c*^ts game'!
I'd take him, the two blokes in polo shirts and the old paddy anyday over the idiot who right now has just parked his 4x4 on the pavement outside my house.
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Monday, 14 December 2009
Stop Knocking Health & Safety; just get it right.
I get concerned whenever I read a notice that starts with the words 'For Health & Safety reasons...' and then goes on to justify the removal of yet another fun activity. I'm always mildly amused at the way health and safety are both capitalised, almost as though they are deities who must be worshipped. A friend of mine once described the phrase as sounding like a a songwriting duo...Jagger & Richards, Lennon & MaCartney, Health & Safety. I on the other hand always think of rubbish comedy duos...Cannon & Ball, Little & Large, Health & Safety.
The problem I have is not with the Health & Safety at work Act or indeed with peoples' health and/or their safety, the problem is with the use of the phrase as a catch-all generally applied by those unqualified to make the judgement , based on spurious legal and insurance advice. The danger is that with all the non-issues that are labelled as 'Health & Safety' risks real dangers to the health and the safety of workers in particular and the public in general will be taken less seriously as the phrase 'Health & Safety' becomes increasingly meaningless.
Had the Act been on the statute books in 1934 then my Grandad George might still have had the ring finger of his left hand rather than it being left on a lathe in a factory in west London. The irony being that after call up in 1940 he spent the next six years in conflict in North Africa, Italy (including being in the first wave at Salerno and Monte Casino) and the Greek civil war and remained physically unscathed. Had the Act been in force in 1966 then my Step-Grandad Charlie might not have been crushed by an RSJ on a building site in Kilburn.
The point I'm making is this, the Act was designed to protect miners from being crushed in pit falls, it was designed to prevent steelworkers from falling into their furnaces, it was designed to protect rag trade workers from being worked to the bone in hot, sticky and unsanitary conditions. In short it wasn't designed to be used as an excuse for swimming pools to stop lending free arm bands, to destroy the all important and sometimes life changing school trip to Wales, let alone, heaven forbid, a lesson taken on the school field on a sunny day. I will wager that when the TUC and their allies in Parliament lobbied for and passed this bill respectively they did not have uppermost in their minds the chopping down of Horse Chestnuts in case a conker fell on an unsuspecting member of the oh so delicate British public.
The other side of this misuse of the phrase 'Health & Safety is that it gives succour and ammunition to those in certain (right wing) sections of the media that would, in all probability, like to see the Act repealed or so watered down as to resemble a pointless glass of scotch. It transpires that the head teacher of the school that supposedly 'banned' conker fights in the playground unless goggles and gloves were worn had suggested this in a spirit of irony and satire. Yet, in the midst of the hysteria surrounding 'elf and safety' it was wrongly reported as being a real state of affairs. Now, whether the news outlet that initially reported this was being deliberately obtuse or otherwise the fact remains that the phrase has become a parody of its original meaning and connotation. The fault for this lies with those who use it without knowledge, authority and expertise in and of the law, those that seek to undermine a law that has saved countless lives and, sadly, those of us that stand by and allow it to happen.
My suggested remedy. Question every sign, notice, email, letter or message that uses the phrase 'Health & Safety'. Write to the originator asking the following; who made the decision that it is an health and safety issue, what is their qualification to make that judgement and has the Health & Safety Executive been consulted on the matter? Any time one read, sees or hears a 'Health & Safety Gone Mad' media report write to that newspaper, magazine or broadcaster and ask for evidence of their sources and demand they justify that report.
Have to stop this report now as due to Health & Safety' reasons I need a NOT pointless glass of scotch.
The problem I have is not with the Health & Safety at work Act or indeed with peoples' health and/or their safety, the problem is with the use of the phrase as a catch-all generally applied by those unqualified to make the judgement , based on spurious legal and insurance advice. The danger is that with all the non-issues that are labelled as 'Health & Safety' risks real dangers to the health and the safety of workers in particular and the public in general will be taken less seriously as the phrase 'Health & Safety' becomes increasingly meaningless.
Had the Act been on the statute books in 1934 then my Grandad George might still have had the ring finger of his left hand rather than it being left on a lathe in a factory in west London. The irony being that after call up in 1940 he spent the next six years in conflict in North Africa, Italy (including being in the first wave at Salerno and Monte Casino) and the Greek civil war and remained physically unscathed. Had the Act been in force in 1966 then my Step-Grandad Charlie might not have been crushed by an RSJ on a building site in Kilburn.
The point I'm making is this, the Act was designed to protect miners from being crushed in pit falls, it was designed to prevent steelworkers from falling into their furnaces, it was designed to protect rag trade workers from being worked to the bone in hot, sticky and unsanitary conditions. In short it wasn't designed to be used as an excuse for swimming pools to stop lending free arm bands, to destroy the all important and sometimes life changing school trip to Wales, let alone, heaven forbid, a lesson taken on the school field on a sunny day. I will wager that when the TUC and their allies in Parliament lobbied for and passed this bill respectively they did not have uppermost in their minds the chopping down of Horse Chestnuts in case a conker fell on an unsuspecting member of the oh so delicate British public.
The other side of this misuse of the phrase 'Health & Safety is that it gives succour and ammunition to those in certain (right wing) sections of the media that would, in all probability, like to see the Act repealed or so watered down as to resemble a pointless glass of scotch. It transpires that the head teacher of the school that supposedly 'banned' conker fights in the playground unless goggles and gloves were worn had suggested this in a spirit of irony and satire. Yet, in the midst of the hysteria surrounding 'elf and safety' it was wrongly reported as being a real state of affairs. Now, whether the news outlet that initially reported this was being deliberately obtuse or otherwise the fact remains that the phrase has become a parody of its original meaning and connotation. The fault for this lies with those who use it without knowledge, authority and expertise in and of the law, those that seek to undermine a law that has saved countless lives and, sadly, those of us that stand by and allow it to happen.
My suggested remedy. Question every sign, notice, email, letter or message that uses the phrase 'Health & Safety'. Write to the originator asking the following; who made the decision that it is an health and safety issue, what is their qualification to make that judgement and has the Health & Safety Executive been consulted on the matter? Any time one read, sees or hears a 'Health & Safety Gone Mad' media report write to that newspaper, magazine or broadcaster and ask for evidence of their sources and demand they justify that report.
Have to stop this report now as due to Health & Safety' reasons I need a NOT pointless glass of scotch.
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